Don't get me wrong, I can't wait for this baby boy to come into the world and make us a family of four, but at the same time, everything is going so well at the moment that I am a little nervous about the changes that we are about to experience all over again.
We went through a bit of a rough patch with Ella a few months ago. She was just being a normal toddler and expressing herself the only way she knew how, and in all reality I responded like a toddler and got angry and frustrated and made situations worse. There was a lot of tension in the house and very little sleep. Since then though, we seem have fallen into a beautiful rhythm and we all seem to be on the same page.
Now that Ella is able to communicate with us and she basically understands what we are trying to get across, everything is just... easier. She's been so well behaved and such a joy to be around. The tantrums have gone (mostly), tears don't come as often and her sleeping has improved so much. She's learning so much so quickly and it's just a really fun stage of her growth. This is probably the most comfortable I have been as a parent and I feel like I'm constantly smiling now, instead of constantly sighing and feeling like I am banging my head against a brick wall trying to teach her what is appropriate and what's not.
She's become so much more aware of feelings and is so affectionate right now, always hugging and kissing and hearing her say "wuv you mama" literally brings a tear to my eye. I love the one on one time that we get to spend with each other. She's always tugging at my tops so that she can kiss my belly or pat the baby. She talks and hums to him in there and he responds by rolling around and she giggles when she feels the movement on her face.
In a matter of weeks though, the dynamics of our family will change. The calm will go out the window. I wonder how Ella will react to having a new person in the household. I wonder how I will to be honest! I worry that I won't be able to give her the same one on one time that she is (we are, really) loving so much right now. It will be a big change for everyone but I look forward to finding a new beautiful rhythm. Our family of four.
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I have been feeling physically well for this late stage in my pregnancy. I'm not all that tired which I am surprised about, although I do lose my breath easily which is frustrating, especially when trying to keep up with Ella.
This little one is so different to Ella in utero. With Ella I used to consciously try and count the number of kicks I felt, always worried that there wasn't enough movement in my tummy. This time around, it's just constant and at any given point you can look at my stomach and see it rippling and contorting and quite frankly, it is quite painful, but that's my only complaint.
I had an appointment with my obstetrician yesterday and he said that everything is going really well. Bubs is in position with head down, however his spine is against mine which is why it's limbs everywhere pushing out of my belly when he moves around. I am still measuring slightly large so we are expecting another biggun!
My obstetrician is going on leave in a couple of weeks. I knew this when we first visited him when we found out we were pregnant and we were aware that he may not actually be the one that delivers the baby when the time comes. He has a great partner in the same office and I have no issue if he has to deliver my baby instead. My obstetrician however said that because bubs is measuring quite large, he could potentially induce me early so that he could be present for the birth before he goes on leave. I would be almost 39 weeks pregnant at that point - but he assured me that he would only do this if he thought it was completely safe to do so. At the time I thought this seemed like a great idea but now that I've had time to mull over it I'm not so sure. I feel funny tampering with things when really I should just let bub decide when he's ready. We will have a big discussion at our appointment next week to discuss all the options and the pro's and con's of everything. In reality though, I could give birth at any stage now! Maybe he'll decide to come early anyway, unlike his sister who was ten days late. We'll just have to wait and see and for now I'll just have to put up with pointy little elbows and a swift kick to the ribs every once in a while.
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