She's just tired...

I remember before having a baby, hearing parents whose little ones were playing up get that nervous laugh followed by the comment "oh he/she's just tired, he/she never misbehaves like this at home".  Huh, I would think to myself, your kid's just a brat!  Don't make excuses!  How naive (and evidently how judgemental) I was...

I now know what it's like first hand to have an overtired child.  I tend to liken it to the Gremlins - One minute you have a cute little Gizmo and the next you have an angry, mischievous animal on your hands and there's nothing you can do to tame it.

None of my very close friends have babies yet so sometimes it's hard for them to relate to me now (and vice versa I suppose).  We try to catch up regularly to stay in touch which is important but a lot of the time it's hard for me because our catch up times usually correspond with Ella's nap time so I need to arrange for someone to look after her.  While I would love to take Ella with me so they can all see her and how quickly she's growing up, sometimes it's just easier not to take her, and after all, I need some time to myself as well.  I can't just pick up my handbag these days and run out the door though like I used to be able to.  The quickest outing still requires planning, whether Gizmo is with me or not.

For our last catch up I suggested that rather than going to a cafe or restaurant, the girls come to my place.  I could cook up brunch for us and we could catch up, and at the same time they can see Ella and her sleep time isn't interrupted.  A perfect plan... or so I thought.

I asked them to arrive at 10.30am, a reasonable hour for them (since they still have the privilege of sleeping in on the weekend!) and Ella has usually woken up from her morning nap at that time so she would be happy and well behaved and the perfect child.

I madly cleaned the house and got brunch together and put Ella down for her sleep and usually she would just go straight down without too much fuss.  But not this day.  Her two top front teeth were just coming through and causing her a lot of pain and she had also just learned how to stand up in her cot.  So instead of going to sleep, she cried in pain and kept standing up in bed.  I went in about 10 times and lay her back down and tried to calm her down but nothing was working.  I gave her another bottle but that didn't work either.  Before I knew it, an hour and a half had passed, Ella was still awake and extremely cranky, and there was a knock at the door.

When us girls get together we are loud.  Usually people in restaurants turn around and look at us and shake their heads as if to say that we're uncouth and noisy, so I knew that there was no hope of Ella going to sleep with all the ruckus going on downstairs.  So I brought her down.

The girls hadn't seen her in quite a while and all wanted a cuddle. This wasn't going to go down well.  I know what Ella is like around people she's not overly familiar with and she was in a foul mood to boot.  She dropped her bottom lip, started crying and put her arms out for me when any of them tried to pick her up.

I put Ella in her high chair and distracted her with a piece of toast and so we were able to have a decent chat and a good laugh but it wasn't long before she started grizzling again and the looks of sympathy and relief came upon their faces as if to say this is what you have to deal with every day? And thank God I don't have children!

I suppose it would have been the same look I had on my face before having children and knowing what it's like.  I have a little experience now and her crying doesn't worry me too much (if it's just a tired whingey cry).  She is a baby after all who has no other way of communicating and she had been awake now for 7 hours straight - the longest time she had ever been awake in her short little life in one stretch!  I thought she was doing pretty well all things considered.

But I was quick to tell them all that she's just tired, she's not usually like this  and I realised that I was just like all those other mum's trying to justify their crying baby so people didn't think badly of her.  Once the words escaped my mouth though I felt bad.  Yeah sure, she cries, she can scream the whole house down if she's in a bad mood, but there is a completely different side to her also.  One that they don't know yet.  And while they may have thought that she was being a brat (albeit a very cute brat!) and couldn't wait to leave the house to rest their ears from the delirious squeals she was making, I was thinking of  the times where she snuggles into my neck when we read a book before bed, the way she gives me eskimo kisses with her tiny little nose and then bursts into fits of laughter, how she has now learned to say mama and constantly repeats it before crawling over to me and pulling at my legs for me to pick her up and the joy it makes me feel that she just wants to be held by me.

After a few more coffees and laughs, and many more tears from Ella brunch was over and the girls were leaving.  They were all going off to enjoy the rest of their carefree weekends, shopping, going out for dinner, going to the gym etc, I was off to try to finally put one very cranky overtired baby to sleep. Sure, sometimes I am a little jealous that they can do whatever they want whenever they want, but they don't know the power of this little person and the complete happiness she brings to me.

I put Ella to sleep when everyone left and she just kept on crying but eventually there was silence.  I peeked into her bedroom only to see her slumped over.  She had been sitting up in bed and was so exhausted that she fell asleep sitting up.  I gently laid her down, praying that I wouldn't wake her and she slept like a baby (as they say) for 2 whole hours and I watched episodes of Sex and the City... just for old times sake.

The White Knight in the Black Mercerdes

When my best friend and I were younger we didn't live far apart from each other, just around the corner in fact.  We went to different schools and so on many afternoons on her walk from the station to home, Katy would drop into my place and collect me on the way so that we could hang out at her place.

The walk wasn't long but we would ramble on about anything and everything along the way.  Probably about boys we liked, girls we didn't and whatever else happened to come up in between.

One day we were walking to her house, meandering along the footpath and a blue panel van drove past.  I can remember this as clear as if it was yesterday.  It was rolling along rather slowly and the driver was just staring at us. Katy waved and we laughed and continued walking and didn't think anything more of it...until it turned down her street, did a u-turn and then coasted past us again.  We thought it was a bit odd but continued walking and talking and then lo and behold it did another u-turn and parked a little up the road from where we were.  We knew something wasn't right.

Katy's house was just down the next street from where we were but we decided that we didn't want to walk down her street otherwise the guy would know where she lived.  So we continued walking to the next street.  The car took off from the curb and started following us again.  Slowly it rolled by.  We tried not to look scared and kept walking.

We were relieved when it drove past us and didn't continue following down the side street we turned into.  We stood at the top of the hill for a little while and thought about what we would do.  And then, it was as if we were in the scene of a movie - at the bottom of the street that we walked down there was an intersection and while we were laughing (we still thought it as kind of funny at this point) and discussing what we should do next, the blue car edged out into the intersection and stopped.  We looked at other with sheer terror on our faces.  It wasn't funny any more.  The car was definitely following us and we started to get scared.

So we ran! Back towards Katy's street.  We ran as fast as we could and as we turned back to look, the car was driving up the hill in pursuit.  There was a big electrical box at the top of Katy's street.  Knowing that we couldn't run all the way to her house we decided to hide behind it.  We hid and tried to keep quiet and we heard the motor of the car driving along slowly looking for us (I may or may not have actually peed my pants a little bit at this point from sheer terror).  There was no doubt that the driver had bad intentions and I remembered all those times that our parents had warned us about what to do if a stranger approached you to get in their car, and about kidnappings and we always laughed it off and rolled our eyes as if to say that things like that would never happen to us.

But it was happening to us.  The car was driving slowly and went down Katy's street which was a dead end.  We moved around the electrical box as he drove past so that he wouldn't see us cowering in terror.  He turned around the bottom of her street and we could hear the engine slowly approaching again and we hid again behind the big green electrical box.  The car stopped and sat there, the engine idling for what seemed like an eternity then eventually we heard it pull out again and drive off down the road.

When we were sure we couldn't hear the car any more and we peeked out from our hiding spot and couldn't see anything, we ran home to Katy's house.  We never said a word to her parents who were wondering why it had taken us so long to get home.  We didn't want to say anything for fear of them not allowing us to walk home together any more and hang out in the afternoons.

We sat on her bed drinking hot chocolate and talked about how lucky we were that nothing bad had happened... before moving back to the very important topics of boys we liked, girls we didn't and whatever else.

I had to walk back home that afternoon on my own and I was terrified.  Terrified that I would hear the dull roar of the panel van inching behind me and I had visions of somebody grabbing me and stuffing me in the boot.  I didn't actually walk home, I ran!  I didn't stop once and although it wasn't that far, it felt like I was running a marathon.

We made a pact that I would ring as soon as I got home so that she knew I got home safely.  I remember racing through the back door puffing like mad and I casually tried to get to my bedroom without my mum asking me any questions as to why I was puffing.  And this was back in the day when mobile phones weren't even thought of (yes, I'm that old!) so once I caught my breath I had to ring Katy to tell her that I was home safe and sound.  Again mum scoffed at me, "Why do you need to ring her when you just saw her five minutes ago?!".  "Oh, I just forgot to tell her something..." I stammered.  I was not good at lying.

My mum would have never let me leave the house again on my own if she had known what had happened.  She's a worry wart at the best of times.  Just the other day when I was backing out of their driveway after a visit with Ella she yelled at me, "Make sure you put Ella's window up when you're driving, you don't want a bee to fly in and sting her!"  "Yep" I replied, but really I was thinking "What the?" She loves having the wind in her face when we drive and honestly, what are the chances that a bee will fly in the window and sting her?  I love my mum to death but she worries about the most silly things and always thinks the worst. But that's another story.

****

Last week Katy and I caught up for lunch.  We were having awful weather.  It was raining like we were in the tropics.  We went to a little cafe just down the road from her new apartment but the rain had cleared so we decided to pull out the pram and walk there.

It was lovely having some one on one time together.  We don't do it often any more because of other commitments but we really should make the time.  It may be years later and we might be a little older with different responsibilities but we are still the same best friends talking about the same silly things we did as kids, with a little bit of serious talk on the side.

We went to a little toy store next door after we ate and she bought some little wooden toys for her God son who was visiting later in the week and I bought a gorgeous little music box for Ella.  It plays a beautiful tune and a little wooden bee sits on top and twirls as the music plays.

As we walked out of the toy shop it had started to rain.  We decided we'd walk quickly back to her apartment before the rain got too heavy.  But all of a sudden it started pouring.  I pulled the hood over Ella's pram so she wouldn't get wet and we sped off for home.

We had just crossed a driveway when we heard an aggressive car horn honking and we looked around and saw a black car drive slowly past us, the driver staring and motioning something to us.  It was as if we were Vietnam vets hearing a chopper and having flash backs, we both instantly thought of that afternoon with the blue panel van (but thankfully I didn't pee my pants this time).  We looked at each other and knew what the other was thinking.  Why was this guy honking us?  Why was he making gestures to us?  We pushed the pram faster.  The driver turned his blinker on to take the next street, Katy's street, but there was a steady stream of cars coming the opposite direction so he kept driving straight and then turned into a driveway and promptly put the car in reverse.  He was turning around.  Why was he turning around? We looked at each other again and walked even faster.  The rain was getting heavier too.  We could see the car turning and coming back towards us and we made a bee line for her street and decided to run.  What had we done wrong?  Why was this guy coming back?

We were only about 20 meters from her driveway and out of the corner of our eyes we could see the big black car edging up behind us.  It pulled over and the driver was looking at us, we looked at each other.  He wound his window down and yelled out.... "You dropped your baby's doll back there!".

We thanked him profusely and then laughed our heads off at how stupid we were and that we had thought it was going to be another terrifying panel van moment.  Katy ran back through the rain to get poor dolly and I stood there laughing on my own like an idiot, Ella didn't know what to make of me.

You hear so many negative things happening on the news these days, shootings, kidnappings, murder, so sometimes it's hard to see the good in certain situations at the time and not automatically think the worst.  I couldn't believe how nice it was of this guy to go out of his way, turn around and deviate from his trip to wherever he was going, just to let us know that we had dropped Ella's baby doll.

Ella's Baby Doll.  This photo is a little old...Ella would have only been about 4 months old.

It was a nice reminder that despite the bad things you hear, there are still so many nice people out there with good intentions.

It also made me think how similar I am to my mum after all...But I don't think I would go so far as to say "I really think you should move that can of petrol that Tim was using the other day off the front porch.  Anybody could walk up your driveway and set fire to the house."  But again, that's another story.

Curb side scabbing

I can remember as a little girl that my brother and I used to always love going to the tip with my dad.  It was like going on a treasure hunt.  Although we weren't usually allowed to come home with any treasures that we found (mum would have freaked out about brining dirty old used things home) I would always dream of how I could resurrect all the old broken discarded things, and how I could make them beautiful again.

Not much has changed since.  I still look at discarded things and other people's rubbish and dream about what I could do with them.  Surely that old dresser only needs to be sanded back and revarnished, or that old outdoor setting just needs a little TLC to bring it back up to scratch I tell myself.  Whenever there is a curb side clean up I always take a sneaky look to see what I can find.  Either Tim is driving and won't dare stop on the side of the road to pick something up or I am on my own but too embarrassed to get out of the car and poke around so I never actually end up with anything, just images in my mind of what could be and how good it would look in our house.

The other day Tim and I were driving home and I happened to see a beautiful old mirror by the side of the road.  There was absolutely nothing wrong with it.  It was a beautiful cut glass mirror that I imagined hung in a little old ladies home.  I thought it would have been perfect in our bedroom above our dresser, or maybe even in our bathroom downstairs.  I asked Tim to stop but he piped up that if there was nothing wrong with it then they wouldn't have been throwing it away.  We drove on...

We got home and I still had images of that beautiful mirror in my mind, seeing it in my head hanging on our wall.  I jumped in the car and drove back.  I had to have it.  But by the time I got there, somebody else had taken it.  I was so disappointed.

Ever since then I have been keeping my eyes out for little treasures and have decided that if I see something  that looks interesting, I am going to stop right then and there and not be embarrassed about what other people think as I am picking through the rubbish.  Ok, so maybe I will still be embarrassed, after all, when Tim and I drive past people scrounging on the curb side we usually roll the windows down and yell out "scabs!" for a laugh.  I would be mortified if somebody did that to me!

But really, what is wrong with turning someone else's trash into your own treasure?  Sure, some things are just plain junk, dirty old junk, but sometimes you do see a rare gem.

There was a clean up in our local area last weekend and so I decided to go for a little drive.  I needed to get out of the house.  Tim was frustrating me and Ella was being difficult because her teeth are hurting her, so I left them together to go on a scavenger hunt.

I drove around the streets and saw lots of other cars doing the same thing.  I saw one street where just about every house had things outside so I decided to detour down the street.  It was like magic!  My eyes lit up as I saw all these brilliant things.  My mind was popping with ideas on what I could make with these old things!

There was an old timber children's desk which looked delightful but unfortunately when I had a closer look at it (I jumped out of the car so quickly, looked and ran back to the car again before anyone could see me) saw that it had been damaged by water and was not salvageable, but I could just see in my mind little Ella sitting at the freshly painted desk when she was a little bit older drawing pictures.

I prowled the streets a little longer and in the end I found three things that I had to have.  Each time I came across something I was a little less embarrassed to pick it up.  I picked up an old timber hat stand which was in near perfect order, a small timber coffee table with beautiful legs and then I saw the crowing glory... a beautiful old wing back chair which from what I could see had absolutely nothing wrong with it.

I shoved the hat stand and small table in the car with excitement but I knew I wouldn't be able to lift the chair into the car as well.  I was torn, I could see other junk prowlers roaming the streets, what if they saw my chair and fell in love with it and I missed out?  I would have been devastated.  I sped home to Tim.  He would have to help me.  It wasn't going to be easy to convince him but I had to do it.

As I walked in the door Tim shook his head as I brought in the hat stand and coffee table.  I could read his face immediately - "What on earth do we need an old hat stand and a coffee table for?".  But I didn't care.

The hat stand...

The dirty old coffee table...

And then I begged him...I begged him to please please please drive back to where the wing back chair was and pleaded for him to put it in the car and bring it back to me because it was too heavy and awkward for me to lift.  He was not impressed.  Not impressed at all.  I eventually twisted his arm when I told him that he could play his Playstation for the rest of the day without me complaining, and that was that.  He wasn't happy about it, but he jumped in the car with a treasure map I had drawn of how to get there and was going to bring my chair home.  That is, if somebody hadn't already taken it.

It wasn't long before he was back and I couldn't wipe the smile off my face when I saw that he had my chair.  He hated it, of course.  He was mortified that he had to get out and put this thing in the car, but the allure of the uninterrupted Playstation gaming made him go through with it.

I cleaned it up with carpet cleaner and sprayed it like nothing else with Glen 20, but really, it was in great condition anyway and didn't really have any dirty marks on it.  I wasn't sure where I was going to put it at that stage.  It sat in the living room for a little bit but somehow it just didn't seem right.  Tim even said that it was starting to grow on him.  That would have been hard for him to admit.  He even joked that it could be come his new gaming chair.  We had a good laugh about that and how ironic it would be.  But now the grand chair sits in Ella's bedroom and is where we give her her nighttime feed and where we read books to her.

I'm not so sure about the colour.  I love green, and part of me thinks it's wonderful as it is, but it doesn't quite fit into our decor so I am thinking of having it reupholstered with some beautiful fabric depending on the cost.

As for my other treasures, I am going to throw the hat stand on eBay.  I have no use for a hat stand and in all likelihood, Ella will probably just pull it over onto herself now that she is becoming more mobile.  Even if it only goes for 10 bucks, I will be happy.

And the little coffee table I have big plans for.  I want to turn it into a stool for the end of the bed.  I just need to repaint it and then find some nice fabric to make a cushion for it.  Something like this perhaps...

I am the master of saying that I will do these things and have the best intentions but then other things happen and these projects take a back seat until something new takes my fancy...so we'll see.  But I really do want to turn around to Tim and give him a bit of a 'told you so' in that I did turn the junk into something that he likes.  I can already see how much he likes snuggling with Ella in the big chair while they read books before bed time.  But he'll never admit it to me...

Easter Monday

Another lazy day in our household.  The last three days have been so relaxing and it has been so nice to spend time with my favourite people.

We went for a big walk to the park today - another beautiful sunny and warm day!  It's almost like summer again.

Archie was so happy to be out and about with us.

Ella swang happily with her daddy.

We looked at all the beautiful flowers and the changing leaves of autumn.

I did some more tidying up.  I am really trying to get more organised.  I also made all of Ella's meals for the week.  Lamb, sweet potato and spinach below.

Followed by more chocolate eating.

What a lovely Easter weekend.  I wish we could spend more time like this together as a family.  Thankfully we have another public holiday coming up for Anzac Day.  I think Tim might take a couple of extra days off either side to make a nice long break.

Easter Sunday

I couldn't wait for Ella to wake up this morning.  At her usual 6am she was up bright and early talking to herself in her cot.  We brought her into our bed and snuggled under the warm doona before heading downstairs to open up her Easter gifts.

She's a little too small for chocolate just yet so I packed a cute little suitcase with an Easter book, bunny ears, a beanie for when it gets colder, a pair of pink ugg boots and a few other little bits and bobs.  She loved it!

I'm not sure why I was so excited.  Maybe it was because it was a little like Christmas - only this time she's bigger and more fun!  She has no idea what Easter is obviously, but her little personality is just starting to shine through now and it was so lovely to see how excited she got when we gave her her little suitcase full of loot.  Christmas is going to be fun this year!

We drove to Tim's sisters house to celebrate Easter with his family.  We had a lovely bbq and basically spent the day sitting around just talking and eating.

We  had  to leave poor Archie at home.  I think he's feeling a little neglected at the moment.  We will take him for a  big walk tomorrow though.

I made some chocolate fudge which went down well.

Ella played with JP - it was so lovely to see her interacting with him.  I can't wait until she is a little bit older and they can play properly.  

I had lots of cuddles with Baby Evie who is already 10 weeks old! I can't believe how quickly that time has passed.  When I picked her up I wondered where the rest of her was - she felt so light compared to Ella!  They are about the same size though compared to when Ella was 10 weeks old.  I instantly felt clucky.

Cuddles with my little bunny!

Happy Easter everyone!

Easter Saturday

Today we decided to go for a drive to lovely Morpeth, an historical town near Maitland.  I had heard a lot of people talk about it so we packed up the car early in the morning and drove up there for a little adventure.

Tim and I often used to go for drives on the weekend to little country towns and so forth but we haven't done lot of it since having Ella.  Now that she's a little bit bigger and easier to get around with it's nice to get out of the house more and get back to doing what we love together.

Morpeth is so lovely and quaint, with old sandstone buildings and uneven cobblestone paths (cute but not good when you have a pram!).

We meandered through all the little lane ways looking at the Antique stores, boutique food stores, old clothing stores and little cafe's.

I fell in love with all the little old houses and dreamed of one day living in one just like this with a lovely verandah out the front and cottage style garden.

We had  lunch at a lovely little French cafe

 

Twice people said what a cute little 'boy' we had!

Instead of driving back home along the freeway we decided to go on an alternative route through the wineries of Hunter Valley along the Putty Road.  The scenery was lovely.  I always feel at my best when I am in the country side.  I'm not sure what it is... 

Someone fell asleep from the big day!  She was a great traveller.

Good Friday

 Our day:

Tim spent time working in the backyard.  Slowly, slowly putting in the new drainage for the retaining wall and area that we will eventually pave.

I put new sheets and doona's on the beds - a little warmer for the cooler nights approaching.  I also did a big clean up of the house which felt really good.  It was long overdue.

We ate way too many Easter Eggs while watching The Walking Dead.

We lay in the backyard on the blanket soaking up the sunshine.

 And looked up at the clouds in the blue sky.

We cooked a lovely roast beef for dinner (not a traditional Good Friday meal but we had no fish!) 

Complete with Yorkshire puddings and followed by more Easter eggs on the couch.

What a lovely lazy day at home.

Hello long weekend!

It's officially the Easter long weekend!  Yahoo!

It was such a beautiful day today and I hope this gorgeous warm weather continues throughout the weekend.

I drove home with my windows down, warm air blowing in my face and the smell of freshly cut grass all around me.  The grin on my face was huge!  Life is good!

I am so ready for this long weekend.  Spending time with my little family.  We've got some nice things planned.

Bring it on!

This gorgeous bunch of yellow roses I received is making me feel so cheerful!

Ella...8 Months

Dear Baby Ella

Today you are 8 months old!

This is you in a nutshell at the moment:

• You have two little choppers in the bottom row and your top two teeth are just about to poke through also.  Although this makes me super happy, it also makes me feel melancholy because you look so much older and not so much like a baby baby now.

• Not only are you sitting up now (you had only just learned to do this when I did your last update at 6 months) but you are almost on the verge of crawling!  You are so close and when you do learn to coordinate those chubby little arms and legs of yours we won't know what hit us!

• You commando roll all around the floor to get what you want.  You position yourself in the direction you want to go and then roll, roll, roll until you get there.

• You are becoming more and more talkative and now all you say amongst squealing is "da-da-da-da" and it is so cute.  Your daddy is chuffed.  Except at 5am when you wake up (you haven't quite adjusted to non daylight savings time yet) and start saying "da-da-da-da-da".  I take delight in telling Tim that he should be the one to get up since you are calling his name after all!

• You are now in size 1 clothes!  We went to the clinic about a week ago and you weighed 11kg's! You are also in the 97th percentile for your height - you're going to be a tall little girl.

• You now love to sleep and for the first time in months your daddy and I get to sleep the whole night through!  Bless your little cotton socks!  We were all going crazy there for a little while.

• You can clap!  You actually learned this a little while ago but you love to clap.  In the bath, getting dressed, in bed...

• Bath time is your favourite time of the day, and mine too I must confess.  You have just learned how to take the plug out though so I spend most of the time trying to keep your little hands away.
• You love being outside.  We sit on the mat on the grass and you pull clumps of grass out, watch birds and the trees sway and you are completely content.  You love to pat Archie too if he chooses to sit on the blanket with us but he is usually trying to get away from your little hands which are constantly pulling at him.  

It is such a joy to watch you grow and see your little personality starting to emerge.  You make us laugh every day.

We love you so much!