Flying Solo

Right now I feel like a tennis ball bouncing back and forth, back and forth in what seems like a never ending volley.  On thursday Tim left for a friends four day bucks party at Airlie Beach.  Why it had to be for four days and why it had to be thousands of miles away, I have no idea.  He doesn't go out with his friends often any more so I wasn't about to give him a hard time about it, but I've gotta say that I wasn't looking forward to a very long four days on my own.

I give props to any person who parents on their own.  It's not easy, and it's only been three days for me so far and then Tim will be back - that's nothing compared to others.  Overall the kids have been pretty good but as soon as I tend to one, the other needs something.  It just seems relentless and I do realise that that's what being a parent is all about but I also know how much easier it is when there is a second pair of hands to help out, even if it's only for a short time at night time after Tim gets home from work.  I am exhausted.

For the first day Ella didn't really understand what it meant when daddy said he wouldn't be home for a few days.  Yesterday she started to get a little bit teary, but today has been waterworks non stop.  "My daddy, my daddy" she keeps on wailing and it breaks my heart.  I just put her to bed about twenty minutes ago and I've already had to go up there four times because she has "runny eyes" that I have to wipe.  If I tell her daddy will be home tomorrow and to stop crying it just seems to make it worse.  I don't think I will get much sleep tonight.

There's a strange quietness in the house once the kids are asleep though.  It has been nice to just do my own thing on my own time frames and I've crossed a heap of things off my to do list that had been lingering on there for way too long.  Sitting on the couch feels strange though without my toes being able to kanoodle with Tim's.

I promised Ella that tomorrow we will go to the park that she loves and then after she has a sleep in the afternoon daddy will be home again.  3.30pm can't come soon enough.  I miss daddy too.