Saturday 28 April 2012

She's just tired...

I remember before having a baby, hearing parents whose little ones were playing up get that nervous laugh followed by the comment "oh he/she's just tired, he/she never misbehaves like this at home".  Huh, I would think to myself, your kid's just a brat!  Don't make excuses!  How naive (and evidently how judgemental) I was...

I now know what it's like first hand to have an overtired child.  I tend to liken it to the Gremlins - One minute you have a cute little Gizmo and the next you have an angry, mischievous animal on your hands and there's nothing you can do to tame it.

None of my very close friends have babies yet so sometimes it's hard for them to relate to me now (and vice versa I suppose).  We try to catch up regularly to stay in touch which is important but a lot of the time it's hard for me because our catch up times usually correspond with Ella's nap time so I need to arrange for someone to look after her.  While I would love to take Ella with me so they can all see her and how quickly she's growing up, sometimes it's just easier not to take her, and after all, I need some time to myself as well.  I can't just pick up my handbag these days and run out the door though like I used to be able to.  The quickest outing still requires planning, whether Gizmo is with me or not.

For our last catch up I suggested that rather than going to a cafe or restaurant, the girls come to my place.  I could cook up brunch for us and we could catch up, and at the same time they can see Ella and her sleep time isn't interrupted.  A perfect plan... or so I thought.

I asked them to arrive at 10.30am, a reasonable hour for them (since they still have the privilege of sleeping in on the weekend!) and Ella has usually woken up from her morning nap at that time so she would be happy and well behaved and the perfect child.

I madly cleaned the house and got brunch together and put Ella down for her sleep and usually she would just go straight down without too much fuss.  But not this day.  Her two top front teeth were just coming through and causing her a lot of pain and she had also just learned how to stand up in her cot.  So instead of going to sleep, she cried in pain and kept standing up in bed.  I went in about 10 times and lay her back down and tried to calm her down but nothing was working.  I gave her another bottle but that didn't work either.  Before I knew it, an hour and a half had passed, Ella was still awake and extremely cranky, and there was a knock at the door.

When us girls get together we are loud.  Usually people in restaurants turn around and look at us and shake their heads as if to say that we're uncouth and noisy, so I knew that there was no hope of Ella going to sleep with all the ruckus going on downstairs.  So I brought her down.

The girls hadn't seen her in quite a while and all wanted a cuddle. This wasn't going to go down well.  I know what Ella is like around people she's not overly familiar with and she was in a foul mood to boot.  She dropped her bottom lip, started crying and put her arms out for me when any of them tried to pick her up.

I put Ella in her high chair and distracted her with a piece of toast and so we were able to have a decent chat and a good laugh but it wasn't long before she started grizzling again and the looks of sympathy and relief came upon their faces as if to say this is what you have to deal with every day? And thank God I don't have children!

I suppose it would have been the same look I had on my face before having children and knowing what it's like.  I have a little experience now and her crying doesn't worry me too much (if it's just a tired whingey cry).  She is a baby after all who has no other way of communicating and she had been awake now for 7 hours straight - the longest time she had ever been awake in her short little life in one stretch!  I thought she was doing pretty well all things considered.

But I was quick to tell them all that she's just tired, she's not usually like this  and I realised that I was just like all those other mum's trying to justify their crying baby so people didn't think badly of her.  Once the words escaped my mouth though I felt bad.  Yeah sure, she cries, she can scream the whole house down if she's in a bad mood, but there is a completely different side to her also.  One that they don't know yet.  And while they may have thought that she was being a brat (albeit a very cute brat!) and couldn't wait to leave the house to rest their ears from the delirious squeals she was making, I was thinking of  the times where she snuggles into my neck when we read a book before bed, the way she gives me eskimo kisses with her tiny little nose and then bursts into fits of laughter, how she has now learned to say mama and constantly repeats it before crawling over to me and pulling at my legs for me to pick her up and the joy it makes me feel that she just wants to be held by me.

After a few more coffees and laughs, and many more tears from Ella brunch was over and the girls were leaving.  They were all going off to enjoy the rest of their carefree weekends, shopping, going out for dinner, going to the gym etc, I was off to try to finally put one very cranky overtired baby to sleep. Sure, sometimes I am a little jealous that they can do whatever they want whenever they want, but they don't know the power of this little person and the complete happiness she brings to me.

I put Ella to sleep when everyone left and she just kept on crying but eventually there was silence.  I peeked into her bedroom only to see her slumped over.  She had been sitting up in bed and was so exhausted that she fell asleep sitting up.  I gently laid her down, praying that I wouldn't wake her and she slept like a baby (as they say) for 2 whole hours and I watched episodes of Sex and the City... just for old times sake.




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