After a quick examination and some encouraging words we left the doctor's office to spend a quiet afternoon together before the big day. We went up to the local shopping centre to grab some lunch and as we walked from the car to the restaurant I started to feel sharp contractions in my belly. I remember telling Tim what was happening and we both couldn't wipe the smiles off our faces. This was really happening.
As we ate our lunch I continued to feel contractions. I laughed and cried nervously, not knowing what to expect. We rushed home and I jumped into a hot bath to try and relax. Tim took Archie over to his mum and dad's place to look after him and while he was away I timed my contractions. They were coming closer and closer together. I couldn't believe this was all happening so fast. It was the moment that I had waited so long for, yet I was so very anxious.
The contractions were coming regularly and I happily reported to Tim when he got back home that they were only five minutes apart. We decided to get ready to go to the hospital and before I knew it we were walking in through the doors of the place where I was going to give birth. I was about to become a mother!
In hindsight we went to the hospital way too early. Although the contractions were close together for quite a period of time, the minute we walked through those doors, all the activity slowed down and almost came to a halt. We walked the hospital grounds hand in hand, stopping briefly at times so I could clutch Tim as a wave of pain came over me.
Night fell and I hadn't progressed at all. After many long hours at the hospital I had not dilated any further. Another two hours passed and there was no change. After speaking with my obstetrician, he decided to break my waters. I thought that the contractions I had been feeling were painful enough but it was nothing compared to what was to come! I was in true labour now!
I didn't have a birth plan as such. I didn't want to go in with a full idea of how my birth was going to be, knowing that things can happen which are out of our control in these situations so I didn't want to be disappointed if things didn't go the way that I planned. I went in with an open mind and was open to the advice of my obstetrician who I trusted completely. I did want to try to go drug free if I possibly could, but hot baths, followed by gas did nothing to alleviate the pain that I felt. A kind of pain that I had never experienced before. I was quickly becoming exhausted. Instead of quieting my mind and trying to relax, I fought each contraction because I was so nervous about what was happening and I'm sure this didn't help.
At almost midnight I couldn't take the pain any longer and decided to opt for an epidural so that I could try and get some rest. The anaesthetist came and I could have kissed him. The pain was gone and I was able to rest as much as I could, which really wasn't much. I clutched my stomach the whole night so I could feel the tightening of my belly with each contraction since I couldn't actually feel any sensation.
6am came and I was finally around 10cm dilated. The obstetrician was on his way. Finally my baby was coming, some 15 hours after I arrived at the hospital. Tim held my hand while I pushed as hard as I could with each contraction. Baby's heart beat started to become erratic so the obstetrician decided to use the vacuum to assist the process.
It was all a blur at this point but before I knew it a warm pink body was placed upon my chest. A tiny baby (who was actually not so tiny) clung to my finger and screeched. I was speechless. I always thought that I would cry when I had a baby since I am such an emotional person, but I was in complete awe of the situation. I shushed gently and stroked the smooth skin. I didn't even know if we had a boy or a girl. I didn't care. My baby was here. Healthy and alert. All the pain that I felt initially was forgotten in a heart beat.
Eventually I asked Tim what we had and he told me it was a little girl. The most beautiful little thing I had ever seen. We lay together for some time, Tim and I looking at each other in amazement at what we had created. Tim cut the umbilical cord and we were left alone - our new little family of three.
We hadn't really decided on a name for a little girl, but after some time we chose Ella. It was at this point that Tim cried his first tears. "Our baby is Ella" he said and then the tears welled in my eyes too.
Ella, your daddy and I still look at each other and marvel at the fact that you are a product of our love. We could never have imagined how much you mean to us.
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