Our first family holiday

Tim and I hadn't been on holidays for over two years, and we'd never really been anywhere long term with Ella so we decided it was well overdue and got planning a fun beach holiday.  Nothing but lazy beach days, eating and dozing, or at least that's what we had in our minds.  Sunny Queensland was our destination.  Beautiful one day, perfect the next... that's what they say.

Unfortunately the reality of our holiday was a little different.  We packed the car to the brim (I have no idea how we will ever fit everything into the car once the new member of our family arrives!) and set off on our adventure in the pouring rain. Not only was it POURING in Sydney, but all the way up the coast and into Queensland.

We drove up the New England Highway as the Pacific Highway was closed due to flooding.  Despite the rain it was a nice drive as we flew past green pastures with fat cows, and trees lining the sides of the road with red apples hanging heavy on the branches.

Not knowing how Ella would go on the very long drive we decided to break the trip up into manageable parts and she was a true champion.  She slept and kept herself amused the whole time and on the rare occasion that she did kick up a fuss, on went the Play School CD and she was calm and happy again.

Our first night was a disaster.  After being sick the week prior, Ella was off her food.  It didn't matter what we put in front of her, she wouldn't eat it.  Our first night the only thing she would touch was hot chips, and this became her staple for the remainder of our two week holiday.  Hot chips and sushi, oh, and ice cream.  Healthy right!  Her eating habits were making me so anxious.  After eating basically nothing for a week while she was ill, she couldn't just survive on those things, she needed healthy vegetables and fruit and meat to build her back up.  But she wouldn't have a bar of it.  I got more and more anxious and frustrated each day as I tried to give her these other foods but she just pursed her lips and shook her head furiously.

Our other challenge was sleep.  I knew that sleep would be a challenge given that she was in a new bed and in new environments, but I wasn't quite prepared for how difficult it was.  The first night she went down with no problems at all but I'm sure I jinxed us by high fiving Tim before we went to bed because it wasn't long before she woke up crying.  Because we were in a small hotel with paper thin walls I couldn't just let her have a little whinge and hope she would go back to sleep like she normally does.  I tried everything that night.  We tried everything that night.  Nothing worked.  I sent Tim to Ella's bedroom to sleep since he was facing a long drive the next day and I sat up with Ella from 11pm to 5am when she FINALLY went to sleep...for an hour until the people next to us woke up and consequently woke us up.

Ella was chipper even after only an hour of rest.  I, on the other hand, was not!  I was tired and pissed off, and that basically set the tone for my holiday.

We continued our road trip through the torrential rain until we finally reached Noosaville.   Our apartment was nice and in a great location, but it was teaming with rain, non stop.  The lack of sleep, the frustration and anxiety of Ella not eating, plus the hideous weather (having to keep a grumpy toddler indoors all day was not fun either!) put me in the foulest of foul moods and brought out some of my worst parenting moments.   I was impatient and cranky, not only with Ella, but I was quick to attack Tim any time he opened his mouth as well.

After 4 days of non stop rain, no sleep and crankiness I had had enough.  I knew I needed to pull myself out of my slump so I decided just to let things be.  It is what it is, I told myself and I tried to look on the bright side and try to enjoy things rather than waste our time together.  That night I imagined sunny blue skies and lying on the beach, and in the morning I woke to.... pouring rain.  But instead of getting angry, I just laughed.  The rain did steady to a very fine mist for a small time so that we could go for a walk along the river which was nice and things slowly got better.

I've never really considered myself an anxious or controlling mum.  I always thought of myself as fairly easy going and laid back but my recent behaviour showed the contrary and the more I thought about it, the more I realised how anxious I really was in certain situations.  We never really go out for dinner together because we feared that Ella would kick up a stink half way through and would scream/cry and upset patrons and we'd have to do the walk of shame out of the restaurant.  When we go places I always carry her or put her in the pram because generally if I let her walk she will just bolt, and then I have to chase her, and then she cries when I catch her and then it's all downhill from there.  But after my moment of "it is what it is" clarity I realised that I was just setting her up for failure, setting US up for failure.  How was she going to learn if I didn't give her the opportunities?

So, despite the rain, we got out and about more and enjoyed ourselves.  We went for long walks each day, even in the rain and let Ella go.  Sure, she bolted, and sure, there were tears at times and tantrums when she didn't want to hold our hands, but by the end of the holiday she walked proudly by us holding our hands (mostly), only dropping them momentarily to wave and say hello to somebody as they passed by.

We ate out at nice restaurants too.  Again, there were tears sometimes when we had to wait too long or when she was just fed up being in the high chair, and there were plenty of sideways glares from other people as she cried or banged forks, but I didn't care any more.  She's a kid, and that's what kids do.  I packed a bag of things to entertain her which we took everywhere and it was a God send.  Crayons, stickers, pipe cleaners, balloons, you name it, it was in my bag of tricks and did a great job of keeping her entertained when she started to get restless.  I also learned that a cup of ice can keep her entertained for at least 20 minutes, leaving Tim and I enough time to enjoy a nice dinner.  We will definitely start going out more with her now that we are home too.

The rain didn't let up for the entire two weeks that we were away which was disappointing.  There were only a few days where the sun actually touched our shoulders.  We didn't get to swim at the beach because of dangerous rips plus the beach was so dirty from all the debris from the flooding rivers.  We did however meander through markets, go to Australia Zoo, Underwater World and did lots of exploring and driving through small coastal towns, swam in the pool, ate lots of nice food and watched a little too much television.  It was relaxing.  Eventually Ella decided she didn't hate her porta-cot any more too and we even managed to get some sleep.

It may not have been the holiday that we had dreamed of, but I sure learned an important lesson....it is what it is.  I really need to stop worrying about things so much.  Sometimes it's best just to 'do' and not 'over think' and sometimes jumping in muddy puddles is really therapeutic!

We arrived home yesterday after a very long drive.  We walked in the door and were so glad to be home.  We found that mum had been around and cleaned the house for us and stocked up on fresh food for us.  So thoughtful and such a nice gesture.  There was even curry in the fridge for dinner so I didn't have to worry about making anything.  God bless that woman!

As much as it's nice to get away for a holiday, gosh it's good to be home.

A very full car

Ella playing at one of the lovely parks in Armidale.  Such a pretty town.

Playing in the park after visiting the Eumundi Markets.  I bought Ella a beautiful little
hand made doll, and Baby Number 2 a gorgeous little pair of hand made shoes.

Swimming in the rain

A moment of sunshine on my ever growing belly

Visiting Underwater World at Caloundra

We celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary while we were away...

...Complete with a classy dinner of gourmet pizza on the couch watching movies

We walked along the river every day - I'm sure it looks beautiful when the weather is nice

Lucky we packed Ella's gumboots!  We spent hours one afternoon stomping through puddles
and playing in the rain in a nearby park.

 

A visit to Australia Zoo.  Crikey!

A walk along Rainbow Beach

A stop off at Byron Bay on the way home.  Definitely would love to go back there another time.

The pits

 

Having a sick little one is just the pits.  Ella has picked up some kind of bug and hasn't been well for the last three days.  It started off as a sniffle and we thought she just had a little cold, but it escalated into vomiting yesterday (all over me as we were cuddling thank you very much) and now she's just limp and lifeless.  It's so hard to see your little one like that.  I miss my cheeky, nosy and inquisitive little friend. 

When we're at home together she doesn't stand still - always chattering to herself and busying herself with toys or books.  Yesterday she could barely muster the energy to hold her head up and was just staring off into space.  I held her all day long and she slept in my arms, something that she hasn't done in a long time and I was reminded how nice that is and that I should do it more often (if she'll be still for long enough).

We are off on holidays on the weekend so I am desperately hoping she makes a full recovery before then.

Until then I am more than happy to oblige with endless cuddles, kisses and hair stroking.

Becoming a big sister

I'm a little bit nervous about how Ella will react when the new baby arrives.  She doesn't understand that we are having another baby although we do talk to her about it and try to show her that there is a baby in mama's tummy.

I bought her a baby doll the other day to try and teach her to be gentle with a baby and to feed it and so forth.  It was actually lovely watching her with the doll, it was like she had a built in maternal instinct.  Before I said anything I unpacked it from the box and she took him, kissed and cuddled him.  She also fed him with the baby's bottle without my prompting.

This morning when we went downstairs for breakfast, the first thing she did was look for her baby.  She picked him up and kissed him and gave him a good squeeze and then found the bottle to feed him with.

Things are looking good so far - aside from the fact that she threw him in the full bath last night, swatted him with the fly swatter several times and pulls his eye lids open when they close.  But that's all completely normal right?  Ha ha.  Well, at least we have another 4 months or so to work on the idea.

19 Weks Pregnant (It's a..!)

I can't believe how quickly this pregnancy is progressing.  I'm almost half way through.  I must say that I do enjoy being pregnant and watching my body change, I feel a sense of pride as , although this time around it has been a little tougher on me.  I am a lot more tired and have experienced a lot more nausea than I did the first time around.  I am trying to enjoy everything as much as I can though as this may be the last time that I get to experience it (we are not sure if we want to have any more children - more so for financial reasons) and this makes me a little bit sad.

When we were pregnant with Ella we didn't find out the sex of the baby at the 19 week scan.  This time though we decided that we would find out the sex of the baby with the idea that it would make things easier for planning and getting everything ready in time for his/her arrival.

Tim and I had talked about what we thought it might be, but who really knows?  I was adament that Ella was a boy the whole way through my pregnancy and look how that turned out!  This pregnancy felt a little different but I wouldn't go so far as to say that I thought it was going to be a boy because of these differences that I felt.

As with anyone expecting a child, you only want a baby that is healthy - boy, girl, it doesn't matter.  We both talked about how nice it would be to have a little boy but we were also completely happy to have another girl.  In fact it was a little exciting to think that Ella may have a sister and being so close in age we imagined them growing up together as best friends, sharing clothes etc etc. 

As the days grew closer to the scan we became more and more excited to find out about this little being growing in my belly.

We went to the hospital early on monday morning and anxiously waited for the sonographer to do her thing.  We saw baby's heart beat, little hands, little feet, brain - everything was completely normal and baby is growing like a little champ. 

Most of the time baby was scrunched up into a tight little comfortable ball but it decided to cooperate for just a second so we could catch a glimpse of the gender.  A boy!  Most definitely a boy!

My heart skipped a beat and I smiled wide.  I looked at Tim and his eyes instantly glazed as he found out that he would be having a son.  What an amazing feeling.

I am so excited about the prospect of having a mischiefous little boy in the house (to match our equally mischiefous girl!).  A healthy, happy, little boy. 

I felt him moving for the first time on Tim's birthday after we went out for dinner and since then have enjoyed the subtle movements inside me, a gentle reminder that he's there and growing, such a reassuring feeling.

My life could not be better right now.

15 Weeks Pregnant

I went to a friend's baby shower today and couldn't believe how many pregnant people were there - 'tis the season it seems!

I am 15 weeks pregnant this week.  My belly looks huge in these shots but it seems to expand and then shrink day by day so each day is pot luck as to how many months I look sometimes.

Finally the nausea seems to be lessening and I am slowly starting to get more energy which I am thankful for.

It still doesn't quite feel real at this point and it never ceases to amaze me that there is life growing inside me as I go about my day to day things.

This week

 

I can't actually remember the last time we had time off from work together.  Although we haven't actually gone anywhere these Christmas holidays, it has been so nice to just hang out together at home as a family, doing whatever we please each day, whether that be laying about at home doing nothing much at all, or going on fun adventures.  No agenda necessary - just do as we please, when we please.

Ella had a nasty virus which developed on Christmas day and got worse over the following few days.  She's never really been sick before aside from a cold here or there so it was actually quite scary.  She had a raging temperature and refused to eat or drink.  All she wanted to do was be held and we took turns in cuddling her as her limp little body struggled to cope.  She's normally such an active little thing that it was so strange to see her just sitting around like a little rag doll.  At one point I sat her on her bean bag so that I could get a thermometer from the cupboard and came back to find that she had slid off the bean bag.  She was lying face down on the carpet with her body partly still on the bean bag.  She just didn't have the energy to pick herself up off the floor.  It was heart breaking.

Thankfully she began to drink and eat a little more over the next few days and soon enough she was back to her normal self.  Unfortunately now I have picked up a mild case of her bug...

We have still managed to fit in a trip to Featherdale Wildlife Park, visits to the beach and lots of play time in the garden with all of Ella's new toys from Christmas.

I am dreading going back to work on monday!  Why can't things just stay like this forever?

Hello 2013!

Our New Years Eve was a quiet one again this year.  No hard partying for this pregnant mama!

I cooked up a mexican feast for dinner consisting of Spicy Mexican Cheese Dip with corn chips, delicious Chicken Mole (a favourite from our trip to Mexico which I had been meaning to try to replicate for years), followed by a rich chocolate pudding.  While we ate we talked about the year that was and what our goals were for 2013.  It's going to be a great year.

After stuffing ourselves silly we retreated to the couch and watched moves.  We didn't even make it to watching the midnight fireworks.  It was a perfect evening.

Here's to 2013!