I really can't complain...Ella has been a pretty perfect baby. She's never been sick (touch wood!), she's pretty easy going and happy most of the time but over the past couple of months her sleeping habits at night time have been getting worse. She went from sleeping almost all through the night to waking every hour to two hours. Sometimes she was hungry or needed a nappy change, but most of the time there was nothing that seemed to be wrong but she just couldn't get herself back to sleep. She would rub her little eyes madly so I know she was tired but she just couldn't get back to sleep on her own. I was going insane, Tim was sleep deprived, we were fighting because we were both so frustrated, and Ella was getting grumpy. Something had to give.
During those nights where she would wake so often, I would get out of bed, try to feed her, try to rock her back to sleep or sit next to her cot while she fought off sleep and eventually drifted off. This could take anywhere up to nearly two hours each time! I am sure I have worn a track in the carpet from my bed to her cot as my feet dragged along the ground in a half asleep state.
Tim has always suggested controlled crying, or controlled 'comforting' as they call it now, but this just seemed to be against everything that I believed in. I argued that it was just something that I wasn't willing to consider. I'm her mother, I am supposed to be there for her no matter what, to comfort her and protect her. It's extremely difficult to parent in a consistent manner when you have a different opinion to your spouse on what you think is the right thing to do. My approach didn't seem to be working though so reluctantly I agreed with Tim's suggestion.
Three nights ago we tried this technique for the first time. We put Ella to bed (after lots of cuddles and attention) and walked out of the room. She cried but we didn't go back into her room until about 2 minutes later, then Tim went into her room patted and shushed her until she settled and then he left the room again. She cried again and this time we left her to cry for a little longer before going in and repeating the process. Each time just leaving her on her own for a little longer to give her a chance to settle herself.
It broke my heart. After twenty minutes I was a wreck. My stomach was knotted and I felt sick as I listened to my poor baby sob for what seemed like an eternity. It took every ounce of strength I had in me not to rush in to pick her up. I sat on the couch and cried myself. Tim had to be the one to go in at each interval because I just couldn't handle it.
After 40 minutes she was worn out and fell asleep on her own. It was the longest 40 minutes of my life. But that night, she didn't stir again until about 6.30am. Amazing. I couldn't wait to get her in the morning. Her face lit up when she saw me.
Last night we followed the same process. I was dreading the crying session again, but after putting her to bed, this time she only cried for about 10 minutes before drifting off to sleep. Again, she didn't stir until around 3am as she had dirtied her nappy. I went in and changed her and dreaded putting her back to bed, thinking that she was going to get upset again. I tucked her in and walked out. She made a few gurgles and then seemed to drift off to sleep within about 10 minutes. Happy days!
Tonight I put her to bed after snuggling and reading books together. I walked out of the room and she did not make a peep - not a single sound. I returned to her room about 5 minutes later and she was already asleep and hasn't stirred since.
I am amazed at how quickly she seems to have adapted. I am amazed at how great I feel when I wake up because I have finally had a proper nights sleep. And I am amazed that Tim and I are no longer at each other's throats!
I guess there are some times that dad really does know best. But I won't tell him that.
No comments:
Post a Comment